Unit 008h: Melvin Hat

Our sad little skull mascot finally crawled out of your inbox and onto a snapback. Minimal, blunt, and perfect for hiding your unwashed hair during another “camera on” meeting.

Benefits
– High-profile snapback that actually has more structure than your job
– One size fits all (unlike salaries)
– Works in every season of burnout

Features
– Flat peak for maximum deadpan
– Plastic snapback for adjustable despair
– Light grey under-peak lining to match your under-eye circles
– Stitched eyelets for ventilation (you’ll still sweat)
– Self-fabric dome top, because even hats need hierarchy

Ethically Sketchy
Made to order to avoid overproduction and the illusion of sustainability. Usually ships in about a week — just in time for your next crisis.