Unit 002b: Crew Compliance Garment

Mandatory warmth. Optional feelings.

Overview:
Cozy and compliant.
The Gildan Heavy Blend™ Crewneck is your issued outer layer for weathering the emotional cold front. Durable, quick to ship, and completely devoid of personality, just the way we like it.

Whether you're bracing for a performance review or surviving another mandatory all-hands, this crewneck delivers the soft compliance you didn’t ask for, but definitely ordered.

Gildan Size Chart

Features:

• Preshrunk fleece knit to resist shrinkage you should be used to that by now

• Air jet yarn for a soft touch and slower breakdown (unlike you)

• Double-needle stitching at all major stress points. Cuffs, waistband, mental load

• 1x1 rib with spandex, flexible where it counts, not emotionally

• Quarter-turned to avoid a center crease. You, however, remain deeply creased.
  
  

Material:
50% cotton, 50% polyester. 100% existential resignation.
(Some colors may contain variations, uch like your last three managers.)

Print-on-Demand Ethos:
Made to order, like your coping mechanisms.
Ships in about a week, just in time to put it on and feel nothing.