Melvin

Our patron saint of burnout. Sad corporate skull. The first, the original, the reason we keep showing up... begrudgingly. He’s the quiet mascot of every “I’m fine” you’ve muttered while your soul clocked out early.

Product Features:

– Glossy paper finish for a scratch-resistant surface (unlike you)

– Strong adhesive for sticking to laptops, water bottles, or your HR file

– Vibrant colors printed with eco-friendly inks for extraordinary brightness in your otherwise grey cubicle life

– Available in multiple sizes and white/transparent options

– Quick, bubble-free application—because you don’t have time for more problems

Care Instructions:

– Use a soft, clean, dry cloth to gently remove dust (like your manager does to your workload)

– Printed with durable, scratch-resistant inks to survive the commute

– Easy peel-and-stick, removable/semi-permanent—like your job security

– Avoid harsh chemicals; capitalism is abrasive enough

Application Guide:

1. Ensure the surface is clean and dust-free.
2. Peel by bending the sheet backwards until the edge lifts.
3. Apply slowly from the bottom up, smoothing side to side.
4. Clean gently with a damp cloth—treat it better than you treat your sleep schedule.